Constructive Criticism in Lolita

I find this to be a difficult subject to talk about at all and even more so when it comes to Lolita. Lolita is a very difficult style to master let alone get a grasp of. There are so many rules and finer points that it takes a lot of work to have a successful coord. When a guy or gal start to try wearing Lolita it is usually a rocky start. The only way I think one could perfectly pull it off would be if they followed the fashion for some time, had a bit of money to spend, had a Lolita mentor, and spent a good amount of time planning. Many of us do not have this so it is understandable that most of our first attempts are Ita, lace monster, Hot Topic, cosplay'ish messes. 

Now, there is a large difference between a constructive criticism that will help someone improve and a flat out insult. But, this means both parties (giver and receiver) must have good communication skills. The person criticizing must know how to give a criticism in a polite way and the person being criticized must know how to take it. Don't see it as an attack and really try to understand what they are saying.  On Daily Lolita I see a lot of first timers putting up their pictures which takes a lot of courage and most of the time there is room for improvement. 

Telling the truth is a necessity in my opinion. One thing I see happening is people giving out compliments and accolades and no constructive criticism. Sometimes you will see pictures posted where a new or even not new Lolita will break several rules or will not pull something off well but no one will say anything. Perhaps it is just a pet peeve of mine but I feel this does no one justice. I am not conservative and think we all need to follow every Lolita rules but most of them are in place for a reason. For example, a modest skirt length is a very important part of Lolita and I feel it should be observed. When I see a skirt worn and it is practically mini skirt length it just gets me.

Helpful Tips for Constructive Criticism

*Start with a complement 

*Don't be bossy. Try wording such as, " I would try...." or "You might want to think about...."

*If they are breaking an important Lolita rule supply them with a link such as the Lolita Handbook to clear it up for them

*Stay positive

*Tell the truth

Helpful Tips for Receiving Criticism

*Don't take it as an attack

*No one is perfect, so don't worry if you make a mistake

*Fashion is an art not a science, there is wiggle room and differing opinions

*If someone is just flat out being mean ignore them, they are not worth your time

*Really try to hear what the person is saying

Please remember there is a time and a place for constrictive criticism. Some people don't want or need your advice or opinion. A lot of posts on Daily Lolita ask for it and it is more than welcome there. Your Lolita friends, family, and community probably welcome it as well but that is still on a person to person basis. Use your best judgement on handing it out.

Daily Lolita Highlight- Psycho Shoujo

  Most of the time when I do a daily Lolita highlight I am a little jealous, a healthy amount of jealous.  These girls (and hopefully soon some guys) are my favorites who I feel do just a great job and have a certain something that makes them special.  And that makes me a little envious and it also makes me want to be a better Lolita.  This Lolita is not different and perhaps I am even more jealous of this one.  She has an air about her that is just lovely.

 Psycho Shoujo  posted her pictures from her trip to Ireland and more specifically, Dublin on St. Patty's Day.  Ireland is in the top part of my list of the countries that I would absolutely love to visit.  For some reason I feel all the people in Ireland are super friendly and kind.  I absolutely know this is not the case but I can dream.  I applaud her for not wearing all green outfits just because she is in Ireland on St. Patty's Day.  Her classic modest skirts with Gothic crosses match and embody the strong religious ties Ireland has.

I know black and white are not quite as popular as they used to be together but I love they was she has put them and herself together.  Her killer Demonia shoes (which I totally want to steal) look amazing with her corset style designed socks.  One of my favorite parts of her outfit is her headdress which she made herself.  I obviously make and wear most of the jewelry and accessories that I wear so I just love it when girls do the same.  There is something very special about a handmade piece, especially when you make it yourself.

Her long cherry coke hair and simple black eye shadow and eyeliner allow you to really appreciate her outfit.   There are times for super fun make up that is a bit over the top and sometimes you have to make it a little quieter.  I believe she made the right choice.

Along with her black and white outfit she also wore a great red Meta JSK.  She has a way of putting herself together.  She has lovely quiet outfits that are still very interesting to look at and smartly combined.

Perhaps one day I can stand in Dublin in my cute and smart Lolita dresses just  like Psycho Shoujo.  I doubt I will be quite as lovely as her though.

Fun Lolita Dress Up Game

  A few days ago on egl someone posted a Lolita Dress Up game.  I made my girl.  I love yellow and pink so i went with lots of yellow and a sprinkling of pink and white.  you can play it HERE.

Welcome New EGL Readers!

  

  Welcome to all of the egl readers.  I hope you add my blog to you bookmarks and/or follow me through Google follower so you can keep up to date.  Check my blog out and give it a little read.  I really do hope you enjoy it.  SweetSuzette

Daily Lolita Highlight - Lisalemaire

  It has been quite a while since I have done a Daily Lolita Highlight so I thought it was about time I got one out there.  This specific girl was the first one that I asked to be highlighted on my blog and now is her time to shine.

  

I only have 2 words that sum her up and sum up this little shoot  Lisalemaire did, Super-Cute! 

  I, like most other Sweet Lolita's, love mint and pink coordinate.  Her Dreamy Doll House JSK  and pink cutsew by Angelic Pretty make her look just like a pretty porcelain doll.  I love her hair too.  Long soft chocolate and fawn colored curls tumble down her shoulders and her soft swept bangs reveal a cool woven head band.  I really like the headband.  It is unconventional in Lolita and out and I love it.  A big bow and little delicate hearts a place just so in her hair and look as if they are floating.

  Just when you think she could not get any cuter she does by having a friend in matching colors who is cute too.  They both have dimples in the picture.  And, the cherry on top is the pink boots.  I love love love boots and pink is my favorite color.  Pink boots are the best!  They are from Bodyline too, so I might have to pick up a pair. 

  So just like I said in the beginning, Super-Cute!

Feedback Page

Since Loligoth Database is switching owners and things aren't running as smoothly as I would like I am doing a feedback page of my own.  Just leave a comment with your feedback.  Thank You.

Rings for sale on EGL tomorrow.

  Tomorrow I am doing a rings sale on the EGL sales page.  I have over 100 rings to buy and it will be the same deal as always. 

Prices......
1 ring= $4.00
2 rings= $7.00
3 rings= $10.00
4 rings= $13.00
5 rings= $16.00
6 rings= $19.00 plus 1 free ring
Every additional ring is $3.00.

 I am not selling them here.  So, if you do want to buy some, wait until tomorrow and scoop them up.  I will be putting them up around noon. 

Riiiiiinnnnggggsssss!

  I am selling over 100 rings on the EGL Sales.  Bunnies, kitties, Bows, Hearts, Stars, Strawberries, and more cute charms.  Hop on over and I am sure that you will find something that you like.

I sell them for pretty good prices on EGL Sales and if you buy enough you get free ones too.  Yea Free!

New Etsy Items and more.....

  So, my new display items came in the mail late last week and boy was I excited.  They are just as I was hoping they would be.  The ring displays are nice and neat looking.  The necklace/bust display is just lovely. And, the glass hand is the best. 
  Since I waited for an Etsy seller to start her February giveaway I also got 3 free earring displays with my purchase.  All together the displays and shipping came to just over $40.00 and I will recoup that in my EGL rings sale I will be doing within a week.  I also got my new kitty planner.  It is a little smaller than I thought it would be but, I think it will be perfect.  I filled in the month of March with the dates, appointments, events, and a few notes.  Hopefully it will keep me a little more up to date and with it.  (I tend to forget things if they are not written down) 
  I added several new items to my Etsy shop.  I added and am still adding rings.  The shop was sorely lacking rings so I am punching it up with some super cute ones that I think are really fun.  I especially love the 3 Pink ring set with the flower, tiara, and the ballet shoes.  But, I am a sucker for uber girly things.

  Keep an eye on my shop because it is ever being added to and you never know when something will pop up that you just have to have.

Daily Lolita Highlight

  As a Lolita one of my favorite things is looking at the Daily Lolita on livejournal. I love seeing what outfits girls are wearing, how they are putting together coordinates, hair styles, gorgeous make-up, and cute accessories.  I have decided to highlight some of my favorites once or twice a week.  This first Lolita caught my eye because of her awesome wig (which I totally want to steal).  Introducing Meow_tan.

    This is an example of a Lolita taking a few risks and pulling it off pretty well.  I like how she mixed cotton candy colors (blue, pink, lavender) together with black and white.  She kind of reminds me of a funky Pullip doll.  Her outfit is a hodge-podge of brand, off brand, and everything else.  The core of her outfit is the adorable Angelic Pretty skirt, which has all of the colors that she pulled from.

  Her make-up is super pretty.  I love her big doll eyes that are accented by tiny rhinestones of pink and blue.    I am not one to wear fake lashes but her eyes look amazing and so big with those falsies on, it makes me want to give them another try.                                                               

                                                                 Super cute Meow-tan! 

Lolita Meme Part 4

31. What is your motto?
Ummmm,  I don't have one.  Sorry.

32. What are your dreams of the future?
I would love to have all of my debt paid off, be living in a big city (Tokyo is my number one), be established in my accessories and clothing business, have no children, have several cats, love my husband more than anything like I do now, have awesome self esteem, and be happy.

33. "This person is so perfect for lolita!" - Do you ever think that about certain celebrities?
Nope.

34. Are there any products/items of which you have with a fond memory?
I have gotton a few dresses as dresses from my husband so I would say those.

35. What was your first item?
A black dress that came from Momo's Fairytale land on Ebay.

36. Do you have a signature pose for photos?
No really.  I just try to look nice, show off my outfit, and smile.  I like to smile.

37. What is your heart's bible? [book/magazine/CD/etc...]
I love Nora Robets books.  There is so much love on them they make me feel wonderful.

38. What is the best height (cm) for heels?
Oooo.  My balance is not so great so I shoot for 2 and under.

39. Do you wear tiaras?
Nope.

40. Do you think you want to try prince style? What kind of prince? Gothic/dark prince? Or "prince on a white horse" style?
I have never really gravitated toward the Dandy style.  It's just not for me.

Lolita Meme Part 3

21. What are your hobbies?
I love to sew, make jewelry, play video games, cook/bake, draw, play around on the internet, and read.

22. If you have any favourite perfumes, please tell us.
I don't tend to wear perfume.  I wear a strawberry scented body spray if the mood strikes me.

23. Is there anything you are careful of in lolita?
I try not to get them dirty.   I usually fail too.

24. Do you have any favourite haunts to go to in lolita?
Anywhere and everywhere.

25. How many times a week do you dress lolita?
2ish.  Usually just on the weekends.  I do wear a Lolita jacket and use a Lolita purse though everyday.

26. Please tell us an embarrassing story from when you were a lolita beginner.
Oh boy, I might have to come back to this one.  I can't think of anything.

27. What is your current hairstyle and colour?
I have long dark brown hair that goes past my bust.  I love short cute bangs so I have been sporting them for about 9 years now.

28. What is your lolita history?
I first saw Lolita in 2005 and did not wear it until 2007.

29. Do you store your clothes in a special place?
I have a pretty large closet so I have all my dresses placed along the wall of the closet so I see all of my dresses the moment I open it.  All of my skirt, blouses, and accessories are hung in the closet too.

30. Did you ever think about quitting lolita? What was the reason?
Not really.  My husband is ready for me to move on to my next taste in fashion but so far Lolita is good for me and I will be sticking with it.

Lolita Meme (Since everyone else is doing it, peer pressure)

  I have noticed that all of the Lolita blogs are doing the EGL Meme and I figured, "Hey, why not me too?"  So, I will be doing it in installments due to it being crazy long.  Here is the first of many.

1. Screen-name and date of birth, please tell us these~
SweetSuzette and February 18th (it is coming up soon, I can't wait)

2. Height, weight, clothing size, and shoe size?
Almost 5 feet 3 inches, 10ish, and 6 1/2 American.


3. Why did you start to dress lolita?
About 3 years ago when I was living in Philadelphia I bought a puffy black dress and a white blouse with cap sleeves and lace around the high collared neck.  I wore them together with pearls and other cute accessories.  This was a inexpensive and unintentional wearing of Lolita.  I had seen pictures of Lolita in Fruits books but did not know it was a genre of dress.  Toward the end beginning of 2009 I really learned about Lolita and got into it in a big way.  I have always dresses my own style and my own way.  Fun colors, puff, lace, girly, and just dresses and skirts.  Lolita is just the perfect fit for my taste and style.


4. Which style of lolita do you like?
Sweet and just a touch of deco.  So pretty.


5. Express in your own words, the ideal of your above answer.
  I love Sweet Lolita for its unapologetic use of all things girly and feminine.  So much pink, puff, lace, and ruffle.  Sweet just makes me want to smile whenever I see any one wearing it.


6. Do you have piercings? Where?
I used to have my lip pierced about 4 years ago but it had to go for not fun reasons.

7. Which brands do you like?
I love all of the big names. BABY, Meta,  and AP.  Bodyline is pretty good.  I have a few pieces from them like my jacket and it is perfect.  I also like my own brand.  SweetSuzette, of course.

8. Which are your favourite clothes (that you have)?
I have an older BABY dress that is blue and white and it is the jewel of my wardrobe.  I got it on the cheap and am so proud of it.  I also have a blue and white AP bag that is stunning.

9. How many lolita friends do you have?
Just about none.


10. What do you love most about lolita?
I feel lovely wearing it.  It shows people around me how I feel on the inside.  Lolita embodies everything that I love and everything that I strive for.  To be feminine, polite, pretty, and me.

Rings, rings, and more rings.....

  I posted about 100 rings for sale on the EGL Sales page and did very well.  Most of the money from it will make up for the $180 I spent at the vets for my kitties check up and meds.  If I can  do about 10 more posts of rings and other jewelry on EGL I can pay off 1 of my credit cards and stop worrying about it.

  If you want you can check out my sales post here.